The David Attenborough Sandwich

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This is pure fiction. Or maybe not

[BBC 6AM Morning TV]

PRESENTER 1: Today we have an exclusive interview with David Attenborough ahead of the broadcast of its new documentary on the impact of climate change
PRESENTER 2: So David, please scare us
DAVID: Well humans are destroying the world they live in through carbon emissions, deforestation and uncontrolled urban expansion
PRESENTER 2: This sounds terrible
DAVID: If we do nothing we are heading for more extreme weather events and a 5-degree increase (on average) in temperatures. In practical term an extension event

[Meanwhile at home]

BERYL: We need to do something about this climate change. This is a big stuff

[BBC 6AM Morning TV]

PRESENTER 1: Next is the weather forecast person. So what's the weather like today
WEATHER PERSON: So today 20th March we will have a lovely day with peak temperatures of 23 degrees C
PRESENTER 2: This is great
PRESENTER 1: Indeed. The conversation with David had really put my mood down but this is cheering me up

[Meanwhile at home]

BERYL: Time to go to school. Need to leave earlier. Bloody LTN has turned our 2km drive into a 40 minutes nightmare
GEORGE: Disgusting. What about the disabled like the Neighbour. He really cannot go anywhere without a car. He was so upset the other day when I parked the car on the pavement for 10 minutes

[BBC News At 6 briefing]

EDITOR 1: OK so tonight we got the David Attenborough documentary. We need some topical stories
EDITOR 2: Could do Low Traffic Neighbourhood. They really increase pollution
FACT CHECK PERSON: Did we fact check that?
EDITOR 2: That’s common sense!
EDITOR 1: OK what do we have?
EDITOR 2: Got an MP that says it’s more devising than airstrikes in Syria and someone that says they cannot drive to their front door
FACT CHECK PERSON: Did we fact check …

[Meanwhile in RBKC]

CHAIR: Welcome to the plenary council meeting. Today is the anniversary of our Climate Emergency Declaration. We shall conclude the meeting with an update from the Environment Chair but first an update on Transport
TRANSPORT COM CHAIR: We are ripping up the cycle lanes after 7 weeks. Need more parking
CHAIR: Thank you. Environment Committee?
ENV COM CHAIR: We are all Sir David Attenborough here. We shall be installing some EV chargers
CHAIR: Impressive. We are all David indeed

[Meanwhile at home]

While watching David Attenborough Documentary
BERYL: This is really sad. We need to do something
BERYL: We are out of Diet Coke
GEORGE: I will go get some
... 20 minutes later
GEORGE: Bloody LTN that 1km driver took me 20 minutes
BERYL: Sshhh I am watching. It’s very sad. We really need to do something
GEORGE: Not sure what
BERYL: Me neither